My Quitting Story

I had always been a social smoker. It started when I was in high school—stealing puffs from friends outside at parties where I was trying to catch my breath. I loved the communal nature of smoking: the way we’d all huddle together in the cold, pass around a lighter, and bond in that strange, unspoken way as we walked back inside. I loved that it gave me something to do with my hands, and I loved that it gave me an excuse to talk to my crush.

In college, I started smoking regularly on the weekends, outside bars and clubs and sometimes in between really stressful exam weeks. Since I could go weeks without smoking, and since I was young and stubborn, I didn’t think I had a problem. By the end of senior year, I switched to Juuls. I was sick of the stench cigarettes left in my hair and on my clothes, and plus they were discreet enough to bring into a study room or a bar or, well, just about anywhere. My favorites were the mint and mango pods, and I used to look forward to switching out my old pods for a fresh cartridge.

I knew I was hooked when the first thing I’d do in the morning was roll over and vape. But even then, even when I was smoking through a pod a day or two, I didn’t really see a problem. Vaping, like smoking, was social; plenty of friends (and strangers) asked if they could borrow my vape, and I always said yes. It gave me excuses to talk to people, and it gave me something to do when I didn’t feel like talking.

Deep down, I knew that vaping wasn’t good for me, but I loved having this little pick-me-up with me wherever I went. And it fit into every situation: I had something to help me stay focused when studying, something to chill me out when at parties, and something to mess with when I was bored. Having a vape felt like having a magic wand—a little vacation from reality. And even though it wasn’t as glamorous as a cigarette, I still thought I looked pretty cool doing it.

After college, I kept vaping, but the more I vaped, the less relaxed I felt. I noticed pretty early on that I didn’t even get a buzz from vaping any more, but I would feel really terrible if I didn’t. At first, I’d just think about vaping and feel a little anxious. Then, if I couldn’t find my vape or wasn’t allowed to vape indoors, I’d spiral into a moody, restless mess. I started scheduling my days around my “vape breaks,” and I’d get irritated if I knew I’d have to sit through a long meeting or a flight home. My anxiety, which I had struggled with all my life, skyrocketed. But I also knew if I stopped, I’d feel exhausted and ache-y all over—the withdrawals were so much worse than I expected. At some point along the way, I needed to vape just to feel normal.

I tried to quit several times. Each time, I’d end up being good for a few days before caving and buying a disposable vape from a local smoke shop. Every time I walked in, I’d feel so ashamed. Why couldn’t I just quit? I had smoked or vaped for so long, and it had never seemed like a real problem, so why couldn’t I just go back to socially vaping? Didn’t I have enough willpower to leave it behind? These thoughts raced through my head as I handed over $20 for a new vape, knowing I’d be back in just a few days. 

After finally coming clean to my friends about how much I wanted to stop vaping, I started doing some research on quitting. Learning about the quitting process helped me rethink my relationship to nicotine. For a long time, I thought quitting cold turkey was the only way to stop. Turns out, quitting cold turkey almost never works. In fact, only three to five percent of people successfully quit for over six months. Knowing this made me feel so much better; all this time I had been beating myself up, and actually, it’s normal to slip up.

Now, when I cave and use my friend’s vape, I don’t spiral. Instead of getting angry at myself or resigning myself to vaping nonstop, I recognize it as a part of the process. After a slip-up, I take long walks, journal, and listen to music. On really tough days, I use Jones mints to help me feel more calm. And of course, I lean on my friends that I’ve talked to about my quitting goals. All of these strategies, taken together, have helped me stay vape free for the past six months. I’m excited to hit a year soon.

Whatever your goals are, from vaping a little to vaping not at all, it’s important to have a plan. The Jones App can help you choose the right way to quit. Our AI Coach can answer your questions about quitting, while our online community can provide support, even if you’re not ready to talk to your friends about your decision yet. Plus, our 2 mg and 4 mg mints can help you get through any challenging day, while helping you reduce dependence gradually. Take it from a quitter; quitting is a journey, and it isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I know you can quit, too.

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